Missing the Children

“Every member of the Church is important to us. Indeed, every person—member or not—is important to us, but surely among the most significant of all our responsibilities is the responsibility to protect and nurture the children of the Church. . . . We care so much about you and about the children you are teaching. Prepare well to bless these little ones. Give it your best effort. Your influence will, quite literally, affect these children for eternity. Enjoy the assignment that you have, and discharge it faithfully. . . . However much we love and admire children, I am certain we underestimate who and what a child is and what in the hands of God he or she may become. May God bless you always in your sacred opportunity to help save the children of this Church” (Jeffrey R. Holland, Message to Primary Leaders, Mar. 2006).

Not long ago I was called to a new position -- counselor in our Stake Primary presidency. That of course meant a release from our ward Primary, where I had served for nearly 5 years, 1 year as the chorister and nearly 4 as the President. I love our Primary, the children and their teachers more than I had imagined possible. I loved being with them and serving them. I loved feeling the spirit with them and talking about the gospel with them.

I also knew that Heavenly Father had something else in mind for me. I know that I am where I am now for a reason. I know that His hand was in this change. But I miss the children and teachers of our ward.

Stake callings are different. I know this because I have had them before. You are dealing with the adults, training them, and helping them to love their Primary (or whatever organization you are serving in) calling. It's very different from serving in the ward. I had a dream presidency when I was released, wonderful teachers and Primary workers to serve with and children that I will always love. And change is hard.

Now I have a new presidency to learn to know and love. The fact that most of us are in different wards makes it harder. And that it's summer doesn't help either, with many people traveling. And have I mentioned (ha!) that I miss the children?

I have such a testimony of Primary and the love that the Savior has for the children. That's where I have been planted, and that's where my heart is. Working directly with the children.

And now I have to figure out how to help other adults love serving in the Primary. I hope I can do it.

(picture of our Primary in a Christmas Sharing Time)

New House

family room

Front door, looking from living room into family room

Upstairs playroom (ours looks a lot the same as this)

Other side of playroom -- our TV is there along with the elliptical

kitchen

Dining nook (not very big - -not sure what we'll do when we have big dinners here -- like Christmas. We'll figure it out, I'm sure!)

kitchen

Front yard (don't you love those trees?!)

Things are (finally) slowing down - -and I have had numerous requests for pics of the new house. I want to make it clear that these pics are not of us moved into this house - they are the pics that were posted when the house went up for sale. So it doesn't look like this anymore. I am not ready to take pics of it yet 'cause it's still in a mess. But here's what it looks like in general.

We love it.

Moved In

I am finally feeling like there will be a time (still in a fairly distant future - but now there is hope) that we will be all moved in and settled. Even though we've moved a lot, I had forgotten that when you change houses, everything changes. The rooms don't work with your furniture, or the places you used to store stuff don't exist anymore. You know what I mean. So we've bought new shelving, new TVs (yup, you read that right -- we figured we deserved it since our newest TV was over 10 years old), new organizers for the drawers, etc. etc. etc. We still need to get a cabinet to hang over the toilet in our bathroom (where else am I going to store the TP?!), the king guest bed takes up the entire guest room so I think we're going to go to a full instead, and bunk beds are what we want for the room for the little people who visit.

Mark has a lot of things to put together or to hang or to do something to and then I can continue what I need to do. More, I need help with trying to figure out how to set up our family room. I'm so not good at that - but what I do know is that it doesn't look right. And my Candice has moved! Ack! So we're kind of still in a mess - -but progress has been made. And that's good.

Just another little (sort of) funny note: as we were clearing out the storage unit on Saturday, we made one last trip and in our zeal to be done, we over-loaded the back of the pick-up we had borrowed from Mark's work. Math was riding back there, keeping his hand on a purple chair (that's why it it was in storage - - no purple at either house anymore) that was a perched just little bit precariously. Just as we came down Slaughter (quite a busy street here in Austin, especially on a Saturday afternoon), a breeze came up, pretty much swept the chair away and it landed in the middle of that busy street. Math said that he felt it coming, but if he had held onto it, he would have gone along with it. (Good call on that one!) Math's friend Kim was driving behind us and she managed to stop, and everyone else around us managed to do the same, thank goodness. Math and Mark leaped out and put Little Purple (didn't know we named our furniture, did you?) onto the median and then we just kept on going. No one knew what else to do and I think it was the right answer.

We rushed home, unloaded the truck, formulated a plan and headed back to rescue Little Purple. But in that short time period (no more than 30 minutes, I think), Little Purple had been kidnapped. So RIP, Little Purple. We hope you like your new home!

'Cause we like ours. A lot.

Change - and Frustration

Who was it who said that there is nothing in life that is as constant as change? Whoever it was was right. This has been a 3 month period full of change.

We did get the move done. It wasn't easy - complications with the IRS and their missing paper (that was needed by the title company) and our buyers (first-timers who were extremely difficult to work with - our agent Nolan was amazing which made a big difference) as well as rain (not good for a do-it-yourself move) and a deadline to get our truck emptied that I was sure we were not going to be able to meet. But we have amazing friends and family and every one of them (it seemed, anyhow) came through for us in ways I couldn't have predicted. We got the closings done (eventually, anyhow), the move made, the truck returned (in time!), and then we began the settling-in process.

After nearly 2 weeks we finally have a home phone again, internet (woohoo!) but no TV yet. The biggest down-side of that is that all the shows I've followed have ended -- without me. Sigh. Interestingly enough, though, I seem to have survived it. Who knew? We should have our TV going within the next week. Apparently we have to trim a big old tree out front for that to happen. What?!

It just seems that everything that has to do with this move has been complicated, and if something could go wrong, you could count on the fact that it would (and did). But we have come out on the other side and the house is wonderful. We love it and look forward to staying here forever.

And our family have been joined by Miss Lucy, who is beautiful, sweet and calm. What a gift! Add to that the MBA our oldest son Chris received last week and I have to step back and count my blessings. There is so much to be grateful for -- and I am.

But I need a trip to IKEA to buy some things so I can get this house organized -- and then, I think I'll feel settled at last. And you should come visit.

Sad Day

Yesterday we got word that Mark's mom, Mary Lou Mason, had passed away in her sleep. This was totally unexpected and utterly heartbreaking for our family. Grandma Mason was a precious, special lady who has a tender place in all of our hearts. She has been an example of kindness, patience, long-suffering and good humor and good cheer for as long as I've known her (35+ years now).

She had been confined to a wheelchair since she contracted polio back when Mark was 2 years old, and we have all only known her that way. But not one of us has ever heard her complain. On the contrary, her comments about polio are positive: she feels like she would never have been humble enough to accept the gospel if she hadn't had polio. She was and is an amazing, loving, wonderful lady.

We will miss her terribly. We will never forget her, and we will think of her often because there is something of her in each one of us. We are grateful and happy that we had the privilege of being a part of her life.

And we want to live so that she would be proud of us.

Re-Tox

There is a lot happening right now, and if you look at my face, you can see a mouth covered with cold sores (ack!). I have rarely had a problem with them so I did some looking online -- and I found that stress is one of the biggest factors in a cold sore breakout (beyond the viral connection, of course). Stress? Any going on here? Maybe so.

A lot of the stress doesn't belong to me personally, but there is a lot on my mind. First, of course, the move. The house sold quickly, we found another (that we love) quickly, and now we're trying to make the arrangements between us, our buyers, our new house and the current owners, two title companies -- it makes my head spin. We need to close on this one first so that we have the $$ to put into the new one, and then we need to be able to stay here for a day or two so that we can do the closing on the other one and get moved in. Timing is everything and our buyers have been difficult to work with. Whenever I get ready to tell them to forget it, I look out my window and see the other houses that are still for sale and suck it up and try to move on. We do know that we will be moving 'on or before May 14'. We are just hoping it can be a little before then.

So in preparation for that move, we spent the weekend packing and got a lot done - but now we are living in a mess. Add to that chaos, the knowledge that our Chris is getting his MBA (yay!! I know they will all be so happy to be done with that) and will graduate here May 21. I'm hoping we actually have a room/rooms for them to stay in at that point. Baby Girl Cottam is due to arrive on May 17. And the Father/Son campout is (of course) scheduled for the weekend of May 14. We may be moving with just the 2 of us! And Chris C. had his tonsils out last week and is really suffering -- we're trying to do everything we can to help there as well.

Anyhow -- add to that the regular stuff: Visiting teaching, temple visit for May (which is closed for 2 weeks, further complicating scheduling), learning and trying to function in a new calling (it's going to be fun!), and just generally keeping my head above water.

I do need a re-tox - bring on the Diet Coke!

picture via everyday people cartoons

Tender Mercies

"I have come to better understand that the Lord’s tender mercies are the very personal and individualized blessings, strength, protection, assurances, guidance, loving-kindnesses, consolation, support, and spiritual gifts which we receive from and because of and through the Lord Jesus Christ. Truly, the Lord suits “his mercies according to the conditions of the children of men” (D&C 46:15). ~David A. Bednar

It's been an interesting few months. Probably about 6-8 weeks ago, I started having the very distinct and strong impression that my time in our ward Primary was coming to close and that I should take it in and enjoy everything in the time I had left. I dismissed that impression because it wasn't something I wanted to even consider. But the feeling would not be dismissed. Eventually I said something to Mark about it. We happened to be eating Chinese food in a neighborhood place and we both sat there with tears running down our faces as we discussed it.

It was the following Sunday that the Bishop called me into his office to let me know that I was being released, and told me that the stake had asked for me and told us the story of the inspiration the Stake Primary President had received. He said his first response was 'absolutely not!' but then decided he needed to honor her request by praying about it. The answer he received was that she was right and it was time for me to move on. So they began the process of replacing us and our presidency, and I was called as a counselor in the Stake Primary.

What's really wonderful is that when the Bishop asked if I had any recommendations for a replacement, only one name came to me and I passed that name on to him. My counselors and secretary all came up with the same name. And when the new presidency was sustained, the new president was the person whose name was so clear to me. It made it very easy to sustain and support the changes.

But I wanted that feeling about my new calling too, and I've been praying for inspiration about it. The feelings I have had are very specific and very clear: that I need to pay attention, listen, work hard, and learn all I can. Also, that I need to love the ward primary leaders, and do everything I can to help them love their Primary children and their callings.

Last night, I was set apart by the high councilor who supervises the Stake Primary and it was truly a tender mercy for me to hear the things he said as he set me apart. They were the very impressions and feelings I've had already. He reinforced those things, reminded me that I am loved by our Heavenly Father, and that I need to seek out the one, whether it's a child or a Primary leader. He also told me that I had a job to do that no one else could do - that it was something only I could carry out. And he ended by telling me that Heavenly Father had great confidence in me and loved me.

What a gift! And now I am ready to go. I'm so thankful for that specific tender mercy in my life.

Bittersweet

Time does change things. Life has been moving right along, with lots going on here. So here's the updates:

• We have sold our house. It was on the market for 5 days, with lots of traffic and then we had an offer, negotiated and accepted it. After that, we had the inspection which went quite well, but we have buyers who are first-timers and want everything fixed. Everything. Bear in mind that there was very little of consequence wrong with the house -- but that too has now been negotiated and we are coming up on completing the list.
• We found a new house! It's not too far away but it's wonderful. Slightly bigger than this one [although that was never the purpose of a change] and a perfect layout for people like us who want to sink roots in and stay put. It has everything on the main floor except a huge playroom [for the kiddoes] upstairs. The back yard could be a little better, but it's much better than the one we have now and Mark admits that it's workable. And the inside is exactly what I wanted.
• I was released as Primary president last Sunday. It was a sad, sad day for me -- those who know me know how much I loved the opportunity I've had for nearly 5 years now [1 of them as chorister and nearly 4 as president] to learn to know and love our Primary children and their teachers. They are all so dear to me and I will miss them more than they will realize. And my presidency? Oh, so loved and will be so missed.
  
• But -- I was sustained in Stake Conference today as a counselor in the Stake Primary presidency. My specific areas of responsibility are the music [yay!], the nursery, the Activity Days for girls -- and probably other things. We haven't met together yet as I was just sustained and the president is out of town. But I know the other ladies I will serve with and am excited about a new challenge.
  
• But again - I will miss my Primary children and our Primary people know that I want to be #1 [in big letters and on speed dial] on their sub list. I'm hoping I get to spend lots of time in there doing all kinds of different things.
• We are going to meet Baby Girl Cottam soon. Her tentative name is Lucy -- and she is due to arrive in the next 3 - 4 weeks and we are excited to meet her. Babies are so wonderful.
• The wildflowers here are spectacular this year. So much beauty, everywhere I look. What a gift!
  

So between houses, Primary, and babies, life is full and rich. Bittersweet, yes. But lovely in all ways. I am so grateful!

Bringing out the Best in Others

"To find someone who will love you for no reason, and to shower that person with reasons, that is the ultimate happiness."~Robert Brault

True? Oh, yes. I truly believe that when someone loves me and I know it, it brings out in me an intense desire to prove them right. And I believe that even more strongly about children. They will rise to the level you have set for them if they know you love them.

How wonderful, then, to give someone that opportunity -- to love them so strongly and so clearly that they have no doubt about the way you feel about them, and then to prove you right. Again and again and again.

And that adorable boy above? I know he loves me. And he makes me want to be the best Grandma in the world, for he and the rest of the precious grandkiddoes that are our privilege to love.

He is Risen!

"In a way that we may not fully understand, even when we are very old, Jesus set us free. It was as though He had the only key to the prison door and that only He had the strength to swing it open. In doing so, He saved our lives so our families can be kept together and so we can someday return to our heavenly home. But He paid a terrible price to do this for us, a price for which we must give Him honor and reverence by keeping His commandments. He suffered a horrible death on a cross. In that anguish of physical and spiritual pain Jesus, too, momentarily thought He was all alone and without help, and yet He did not turn away from helping us. I would especially like you to remember our Brother Jesus Christ to whom we owe everything, for He came to heal our wounds, calm our fears, and bring us safely home when we really, really needed Him." ~Jeffrey R. Holland [in the Friend, April 1980]

At this beautiful time of year, I love this clear reminder that we do owe Him everything. I am so grateful for His willingness to come as He did, healing, calming and making it possible for us to return with our families to Him.

I rejoice with the rest of the Christian world this Easter time - - He is risen!

[picture by Simon Dewey]