Tragedy

I can't take in this recent school tragedy. As a teacher, a parent, a grandparent and a human being, I am heartsick at the senseless loss of beautiful children and teachers. 

These beautiful words come straight from the blog of one of my favorite writers, Robert Brault.  He always knows what to say and how to say it and his words (while they make me cry -- again) have given me some comfort and eased the aching that I feel in my heart as I contemplate this horrific event.

A Mother's Reverie
Child lost, do you suppose
That we could ever be apart,
That though you’ve left my yearning bosom,
You could ever leave my heart?

Do you suppose that though the years
Bring what they may of joy and strife,
I’ll e'er forget that once there stirred
Within me your sweet precious life?

Do you suppose that there will come
A morning when I’ll not arise
To live again that day when last
You turned to me your trusting eyes?

Child dear, I know you dwell
Within the Lord’s protective might,
But do you know how brave you were
And how I long to hold you tight?

____________________________________________________

"If there is consolation, it must come from knowing that others have suffered the cruel loss of a child and have recovered to find purpose in their lives.  We exist in a cycle of relentless restoration and renewal, a cycle in which the spring returns and that which seemed forever gone is reborn.  Those who go before us lead the way, and who knows what divine purpose resides in a child taken from us prematurely."

"Child lost, sometimes in dreams

I wander in an endless night,

When, lo, a tiny hand takes mine

And leads me to the morning light."

~~ Robert Brault

There are no words for the feelings I have but as always, Robert Brault has the words I need.  I thank him for that.

In His Hands

‎"The road back to God is a road of moral effort, of trying harder and harder. But...it is not the trying that is ever going to bring us home. All this trying leads up to the vital moment at which you turn to God and say, 'You must do this. I can't.'
-CS Lewis


I found this on Facebook today and immediately had to steal it because it spoke so clearly to me.  I have always loved C.S. Lewis - he has a way of saying things that I can easily relate to.  I think for me the idea of relinquishing control {I am definitely a control freak!} is what is difficult, and to be able to admit that I can't do something on my own is tough.  


But if I have learned anything at all, it's that there are surely things that I can't do on my own and to put them in His hands is the only answer.  

How blessed we are to be able to do just that - give it to Him and move forward.  He loves us more than we can understand and is waiting for us to come to Him for the help we need.

School's Out!! (almost!)

"The most beautiful sight in the world is a little child going confidently down the road after you have shown him the way."~Confucious

It's nearly the end of another school year and while I'm not a mom with kids in the schools anymore, I have 4 school-age kiddoes in my life that I love dearly and it's pleasure to see how well they have all done this year.  Daniel and Maya are finishing 2nd grade and Ben and Mason are finishing up Kindergarten.  I can't quite comprehend how this has happened.  Add to that Simon and Lucy who are 3 1/2 and 2 respectively and it makes me wonder where the time has gone.


There have been piano lessons, tai-kwon-do, volleyball, swimming (both lessons and swim team), gymnastics, tumbling -- you name it, it's been done by one of the kiddoes this year.  And they have all grown and stretched themselves in lots of ways.   All 4 of them are fantastic readers, which is a great foundation for them to continue building their education upon.

I hope it goes without saying that we are incredibly proud of these precious grandkids of ours -- we love them dearly and are so excited to watch them learn and grown.  But we are also extremely proud of their parents:  Chris & Tara and Chris & Natalie are wonderful, loving, involved, patient and creative parents.  I truly couldn't ask for our beloved grandkiddoes to be in better hands than the ones they have been blessed with.

So fun to see them moving on into their lives -- confidently and well prepared.

Time is Flying!

It's already May 10 (seriously -- where has the time gone?) so it's time for a little updating, I guess.

The finger:  I am now down to less than 2 weeks in the splint and bandaging -- it seems like it has been forever but it also seems like it has happened quickly.  I will be so glad to have my finger back.  Maya asked me the other day what the Dr. would do - - I'm guessing he will take the splint and tape off and blow a kiss at me as I run out the door.  At least that's what I hope he will do!  I'm hoping for the best.

There's been a picture of Natalie and I that has almost taken on a life of its own.  (see above) My friend Macy took the picture a few months ago and it has ended up in the Deseret Book Spring Catalog and in their Time Out for Women online ads as well.  We have had so many friends all across the country contact us when they have seen it and that has been fun.  I just love having such a fun picture of Natalie and I.

In other news, I ran a 5K this past weekend.  I was pretty nervous about it because in the past 2 weeks my running has been awful.  I had no stamina, my breathing was hard and really, I had no interest in even trying to hang in there.  It was lame.  So I was very afraid of how this 5k would turn out.

I was happy to discover that I am still a runner, and really, not such a bad one either.  I ended up finishing in 30:23 -- which was good, and made it a 9:39 pace.  And I ended up 7th in my age group (which, admittedly, is old) -- but there were about 25 people in that group.  And I loved it.  So much fun.

And the best part was that I ran it with family.  Chris, Natalie and Maya all ran the 5K too.  Chris smoked us all - he was amazingly fast (23 min, approx, I think), Natalie beat me by around 30 seconds and Maya did it in 35 minutes with no training.  Awesome all around.   Can't say I love the way I look in the picture but with hair pulled back at 8 a.m., I guess that's the best I could do!!

So my plan is to just continue to work at getting quicker and to keep loving it.  So that next year - -I can move myself up in my age group and beat a few more oldies like myself.

Happy Easter!

"Do not abandon yourselves to despair. We are the Easter people, and hallelujah is our song."~Pope John Paul II

We live in a world where so many people are dealing with hard things. There are health issues, employment issues, family issues -- the list just goes on and on. Sometimes my heart breaks for my friends and loved ones and sometimes it aches for myself. Life is not easy and it's so easy to get discouraged and even to feel despair.

As I contemplated these things, I was reminded of a wonderful Conference talk given by Joseph B. Wirthlin, entitled "Sunday Will Come". It was given in 2006 but was so powerful for me that I have never forgotten it and go back and re-read it fairly often. He talks about the crucifixion of the Savior and how dark it was that day (physically and spiritually) -- but reminded us that that terrible day did not remain. And despite the fact that we may be in the midst of a terrible 'day' in our lives, that our Sunday (and the brightness and joy it brings) will surely come.

I used the above quote last year at this time as well and it too has stuck with me. I need to remember that despite the darkness we all find in our lives from time to time, that we need not despair, because Sunday will come. And it will come because of the priceless gift that our Savior Jesus Christ gave us at this Easter time: His atoning sacrifice and resurrection.

So indeed, we need not (and must not) abandon ourselves to despair because we are the Easter people!

Hallelujah!

picture by Del Parson

Jogging is Dangerous?

This past Saturday I was out jogging and caught my shoe in a sidewalk crack. I thought I had managed to keep my balance but ended up going down so I tried to aim myself towards the grass rather than the sidewalk. I ended up scraping up one knee (scrape + giant bruise), scraping the palm of my left hand, and even scraped my chin a bit. None of that is very serious but my right hand was holding my phone (always have my music going when I run) and I landed hard on that hand which was curled around the phone.

I picked myself up and trudged the rest of the way home (I was pretty much almost there, dang it!) and as I did I noticed that my fourth finger on the right hand was feeling like it had been jammed. And then I looked at it -- the tip of the finger (by the last knuckle) was just drooping, nearly dangling and I couldn't move it back up unless I used my other hand.

I iced it and waited but ended up calling an orthopedic doc on Monday because I need my hand! They had me in yesterday and the diagnosis is mallet finger, which is common among baseball players. The prognosis is OK -- but I have to wear a splint for 6-8 weeks, 24/7, sleeping, waking, showering, doing hair -- whatever. The finger has to remain straight or the 6-8 weeks starts over. Really? (big sigh here!)

There are no broken bones but the tendon has been completely pulled away from the bone and needs lots of time to heal. The dr. said that he wants to see me in 2 weeks and that there is a real possibility that there will be a need to put a pin in to help hold the finger in place. So -- maybe surgery.

I think it will all be OK, but I need my fingers -- so I would be grateful for your prayers.

**not my finger but it looks a lot like that

Catching Up

Really? My last past was 2 months ago? This is a graphic example of how quickly the time is going these days. There always seems to be something going on to keep me busy, for sure.

I was asked to give a talk in Stake Conference and that was pretty overwhelming. I'm glad it's done but I was also glad to have the chance to do it and address probably my favorite topic: "Teaching the gospel of Christ to children". Nothing better than that and I know (as always) that I learned much more as I studied, prayed and prepared than anyone who listened. Pure pleasure to address that topic, even if I was scared to death as well. That's what I call a mixed blessing!

I also had the chance to accompany my talented friend Macy as she did her presentation at a "Time out for Women" -- this time in Idaho Falls, Idaho. It was a quick trip for me but always fun to do my best to help her do her best and wonderful to hear the messages I heard. I also love seeing the women in the audience soaking up the spirit and the lessons and messages that are presented so well.

Spring Break came and went (way too fast, as always) and we are now back in the routine of school. You might think that wouldn't have much to do with me anymore, but it does. I get to help with readers in a first grade classroom once a week, and I also drive Maya and Mason to school in the mornings (there is no better way to start your day - super fun to be with them first thing), and I have a few piano students that coincide with the school routine as well.

Life is wonderful. The bluebonnets are in full bloom (see the pic in the post above - it really does look like that here right now!), the weather is mild, I have been running outside now for probably a month, and I'm planning to do a 5K in early May. As my Natalie pointed out, I might even 'win' something (what??? I'm slow!) -- because I'm old. Made me smile. So there is something good about being old.

Who knew?

He (or she) Who Sees

“Every common bush is afire with God ––but only he who sees takes off his shoes.”~Elizabeth Barrett Browning

I read this recently and it has stuck with me. I'm sure you recognize the reference to the story of Moses and the burning bush: as Moses approached the bush, he removed his shoes because he knew he was standing on holy ground. I have always loved that because I really want to be not only the one who sees, but the one who figuratively takes off her shoes.

That's another goal for me this year: to be aware of God's marvelous hand in each of our lives, and going along with that, to treat that Hand with respect, reverence and gratitude.