10.06.2007

Thoughts . . .

So as I am dealing with a healing (and painful) foot, I've been pondering. You see, I hate this phase of recovery. I hate asking people to do things, I hate depending on them to help me, I hate needing help. There is no reason for me to feel this way -- people have been generous, kind, concerned, and more than willing to help with anything at all. If I ask them. Which I hate doing. I'm a very independent person and my mom says my first words were not the traditional "Dada" or "Mama" -- they were "I do it myself!" And I believe it.

Knowing this, you might guess that this current helpless phase is hard for me. I tend to push my recovery along too fast, doing way too much too soon, (thus resulting in a slower recovery!) because I don't want to put anyone out. I just want to handle it myself! Sigh.

Which leads me to a deeper thought. I'm that way with spiritual matters too. I am way too independent and slow to ask for help. I don't want help. I just want to be able to do it myself. But there is help available for each of us, and all we have to do is ask. Heavenly Father is waiting for me to humble myself, ask Him for the help I need, and to be invited to put His divine touch on my life. But I need to ask.

I'm learning lots of lessons right now. Temporal and spiritual.

9 comments:

Tiburon said...

Great post Jan. I am with you - I find it SO HARD to ask people for help and I really hate to rely on others. Great message today - I am loving Conference BTW - so many great talks :)

Emily said...

Oh what good thoughts. I have had numerous broken bones, and I refuse to have anyone help me. So I understand how hard it is. But think of the joy they get to be able to help and serve you! I hope you heal quickly and are up on your feet again soon!

100 Percent Cottam said...

great thoughts, mama! and we all love the opportunity to do something for YOU for a change!

hoLLy said...

oh, i hate to hear you are in pain jan! you have been so blessed with so many good friends and goodies to help. you are so loved for a reason: you are a wonderful wonderful person! take care of that foot and i hope it gets to feeling better soon. i'll be thinking about you and praying for you!

Shelley said...

I'm learning that lesson lately too. I love how He promises to be there for lil' ol' me... and all I have to do is ask Him for help. It is so hard, but once you get past it, its so easy!

feltc said...

Are you sure this post was about you, because I think it was about me (minus the surgery thing). I know exactly what you mean. Since Sam was born, I've been working on letting others gain blessings by allowing them to serve me (I hope I don't sound totally selfish in saying that, but you know what I mean, just really accepting help when I need it). It's hard, but I have had some great blessings from service rendered from others. I hope your healing journey is going well!

Jori said...

It is hard to ask for help. I hate to put people out too. I am glad you wrote about this. It's a great reminder that Heavenly Father is waiting to bless us if we humble ourselves and ask.

Miss Jones said...

i am the same way... for a week now, i've been in immense pain. it took my dad suggesting to ask for a blessing before i got one. i hadn't thought of it. i hate relying on other people for help... i hope you're feeling better quickly!

Kristi said...

I love this post, jan. It is hard for me to ask for help, too. I much prefer to do it myself, but sometimes I think it blesses others when we allow them to serve us...if that makes sense. I am so sorry your foot isn't healing properly...let me help in any way I can, seriously!